The Hypsochronidae, more commonly known as the ‘Shifted Salmon’ or ‘Doppler Fish’, is a fairly common, medium-sized sentapiscis.
Adults average at about three notional lumins in length, although larger individuals are occasionally observed. Rather than the size of any one individual however, it is the sheer number of shifted salmon observable during the migration season that mark this animal out for special attention.
Throughout much of the twentieth century, thousands of shifted salmon made their way from the deep oceans of the collective unconscious to breed in the bright streams of debate and human interaction which occured at large conventions/public events around the world. In North America, tens of thousands of shifted salmon were traditionally drawn together to breed in the near constant news commentary and social speculation of Superbowl weekend. UK migrations were often more sporadic, occurring most often around long-running news stories or political scandal during the summer months.
In a dramatic evolution of their behaviour, the early twenty-first century has seen breeding groups of hypsochronidae relocate into the social media space in large numbers, with almost perpetual migrations leading to a dramatic population spike.
Hypsochronidae characteristics: The Shifted salmon’s common name comes from the alternate stripes of redshift and blueshift doppler-logic which line its body as camouflage. The shifted salmon’s redshift stripes are known to cause a strong sense of déjà vu, while the blueshift stripes can bring about acute future anxiety. A ‘flash’ of both stripes at once as the animal swims can therefore be understandably very disorientating and in large shoals the effect can be overwhelming for an observer for several hours after an encounter. Because of this pseudo-temporal effect, there has been suggestion that the shifted salmon actual exists briefly in the past and future as well as the present, but there has never been any evidence for this. There has also been speculation on the fringes of scientific study that the shifted salmon is a distant relative of the Einsteinian Ticking Remora, although as this fish is so rare no real study into this proposition has been achieved.
Negative 26 (43/100)